who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
