Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
