I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Maybe he injected his testicle?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
