drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
We have so much sex to catch up on
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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