Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
