you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
