I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Did I show you my penis last night?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
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