Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
