Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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