Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Yo dont text me then not text me
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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