It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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