$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
