he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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