whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
