Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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