Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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