True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
last night I used snow as a chaser
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
