At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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