remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
