I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
