Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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