No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize