you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
