Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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