Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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