If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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