is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
