I could have mohawked her pubes.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I touched a dick in church today
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
