He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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