I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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