I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
