Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
