woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
