I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize