I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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