Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
