Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
