are you so shy because you have an std?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
