if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
