These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
