why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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