well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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