you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
