when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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