He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
