So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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