He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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