you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize