Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I just found puke in my bra..
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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