She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
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