We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
