I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
