One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
