awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
