Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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