do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
