U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
