Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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