Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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