I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
