This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
