can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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