I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I'm passing your future prison.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
