i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
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