watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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