So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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