Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
