i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
