wanna go halves on a baby?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
