we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Randomize
